where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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