What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
