Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
