They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
