everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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