and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
