So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
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