About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
