I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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