ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
