I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
