so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I party with great urgency now.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
