Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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