I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i think i have herpe
just one?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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