She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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