dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
