I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
