If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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