dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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