If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
