Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
tell your sister to shave her snatch
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
