I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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