He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My vagina is officially offended.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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