You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
