Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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