he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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