i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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