Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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