Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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