and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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