we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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