the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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