This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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