I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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