No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
