(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
