So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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