Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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