If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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