Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
