thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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