I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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