It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
