one two three fourrrrnication!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
