so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
