Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
