super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
