Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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