This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
