I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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